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THE TASKS OF A FUNERAL DIRECTOR

Do you have a large number of unanswered questions – and is it difficult to make the difficult choices that follow the decease of a person close to you?

You are not alone with these feelings.

It is important that the last farewell feels right for you and family and friends close to the deceased – and as a funeral director I cannot make the difficult decisions for you. But I can help you make time manageable, help you remember important things – and present you to alternatives which might make the choices easier. We can meet when and whereever it feels right for you. Afterwards, I will as soon as possible provide you with a full overview of the financial part – your expenses to the funeral director as well as those which can be expected from other parties.

Please feel free to read through the information shared below: 

 

Trae allan juul

 

BEFORE THE CEREMONY

When a person passes away it is important to plan the last farewell as soon as possible to feel clarified for mourning and comforting. To quickly make the necessary arrangements I will ask you the following questions at our first meeting:
  •      Do you wish a cremation or burial?
  •      Are there any specific wishes for the choice of coffin or urn?
  •      Do you have any wishes for the cemetery plot. Is there a family grave? Should the deceased be laid to rest in the lawn? Or in the grave of the unknown?
  •      Where and when do you wish the ceremony to be held?
Immediately after our meeting I will contact the pastor, the sexton, the cemetery to check all options  – and revert to you as soon as possible to enable you to share details about the ceremony with family and friends. At our first meeting we will also agree whether you need my help for placing the deceased in the coffin - maybe in own clothes/bedlinen, singing out the deceased from his/her home – or from hospital or hospice, booking death notices in newspapers - as well as you will be offered help and guidance in connection with: 
  •        Decoration of the coffin, wreaths – and decoration of church or chapel
  •        Choice of gravestone and engravings
  •        Registration of the death with insurance company and trade union
  •        Completing documents and certificates for public authorities
  •        Filling in applications for economical support for the funeral services
  •        Arranging social get-togethers (coffee, lunch, etc.) after the ceremony
I should be pleased to share with you the contact details of good suppliers of gravestones, flower artists and restaurants that I know and can recommend. All questions are important: Please do not hesitate to ask.

 

AT THE CEREMONY

Before the ceremony the coffin is transported from home, hospital or hospice to the chapel or church. You can choose to follow the hearse on this drive, a special route can be arranged - and we can make a short stopover at home or another site important to the deceased.

I will, furthermore, coordinate practical details with the staff of the church … and the flower-decorated coffin will be in the church/chapel.

I will meet you in- or outside the church/chapel approx. 30 minutes before the ceremony and can support you and your family in connection with questions or doubts in an unaccustomed situation - as well as I will handle casket sprays, wreths, etc.

You can choose to greet friends, family and relatives in the church porch - or you and your family can seat at the front bench, find the inner calm and prepare yourselves for the ceremony to come.

If you wish to make a personal eulogy in the church/chapel, I advise you to write down your words - so that the pastor can take over and read it for you, if the situation gets too emotional. If you wish to thank relatives and friends for their support - or to invite them to join you for a memorial gathering - you can include this. Or you can arrange for the pastor to do this on your behalf.

There will also be a personal choice to make in connection with a cremation - as you can choose to carry the coffin out of the church to the waiting hearse - or you can leave the coffin in the beautiful church room while you, the family and the relatives quitely leave the church. Both are polite and respectfull customs. If the coffin is carried out the hearse will be parked closely and you will have all the time you need for a last farewell, the last flowers and the last moments of remembering before I close  ... and drive away slowly and respectfully. 

Not two ceremonies are the same ... your personal choices decide what is right for you.

 

AFTER THE CEREMONY

My professional support and guidance will not end immediately after the ceremony. You are always welcome to contact me if unexpected questions arise for instance in connection with the probate court, filling in documents and certificates, etc. Should you be in need of assistance from a professional and competent lawyer I can refer you to Trolle Advokatfirma - and offer to arrange half an hour of free, no-obligation consultancy to give you an overview of and help you safely through the unfamiliar situation. The focus of Trolle Advokatfirma is family law and the can help you handle probate questions, examine questions in connection with interitance, contact to public authorities and any documents, certificates and personal tax challenge. Do you prefer to contact Trolle Advokatfirma directly, please call Jette Aas Larsen at +45 76 30 67 46 or send a mail to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. with reference to me. Feel free to read more here ...

In connection with the time which follows the funeral I will not omit to mention the emptiness, sadness and from time to time melancoly which I often experience among the beraved - partners, children as well as parents. We work our ways through grief very differently: Some supported by strong family members and friends, others alone and on their own - and even others through a few meetings with a professional and outside party. We experience grief, loss, courses of illness, death and funeralvery differently - and in some cases contact to a professional psychologist - maybe at first just a no-obligatio call - can be a sound and rational decision. I can recommend psychologist Berit Lyhne, Psykologerne ved Slotssøen, who works specificly with grief, loss and personal crisis. You can contact Berit Lyhne at 75 53 68 32. Please feel free to read more here ...

Finally, I'll just emphasise, that I am as close as a telephone call – and should be pleased to help whenever my experience could be of value. 

 

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